I didn’t know this, but it turns out in 1997 volunteers at the Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City lost control of a balloon and nearly killed a 33-yeard old woman. The next year, Macy’s put its proverbial foot down and trained the balloon handling volunteers in nearby Hoboken, New Jersey, before the parade.
In the following years, Macy’s has slipped on this pledge to train the volunteers, and chaos appears imminent. Exhibit A:
“There’s no, like, training,” said one first-time handler who was given an instruction sheet and told to report for duty at 6 a.m. tomorrow.
Oh, you want training? Here’s your training: hold the f*** on.
To it’s credit, Macy’s has offered voluntary training sessions four times a year and invited all volunteers to attend. The sessions are mandatory for a “few hundred team leaders”. Still, chaos is around the corner. Exhibit B:
This year, in place of the fitness tests, volunteers handling the balloons were asked whether they suffered from asthma or cardiac problems that would impede their ability to walk the two-and-a-half-mile course.
How about, instead of fitness tests or asking if the volunteers are heart patients, we recruit twice the volunteers we need, split them in half, and have a tug-of-war. The team that wins gets to march with the balloons. It seems to require a similar skill set.
Regardless, the situation is more serious than I have made it out to be. When volunteers lost control of the balloon in 1997, it severed a portion of a lamp post, which then fell to the sidewalk. The 33 year old woman was permanently brain damaged and won a $395 million settlement with Macy’s, New York City, and a city contractor.
Here’s to hoping for a safe and entertaining Thanksgiving Day parade.